


I Wish I Had Known

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: Petty Insults [124]
Category: Avengers, Matvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Relationships: past Thor x Reader, steve x bucky, tony x reader - Relationship
Series: Petty Insults [124]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/850284
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	I Wish I Had Known

Ben went to help Talia and the kids, leaving Heimdall for a moment. “Want some orange juice?” Steve asked him. “Or a refill on cereal?” He offered. “Or I can make that breakfast sandwich you like.” 

Heimdall chewed on his lip. “Some juice is fine.” He played with his spoon. Would now be a good time to bring things up? Before all the kids flooded the kitchen? Would he get another chance? 

Steve smiled and poured him a glass, noting his expression. “Things will be okay.” He said softly, thinking it was about Thor. “I know he’s been gone a long time, but I can tell he loves you like he did then. If not more.”

Heimdall nodded. “I can tell, too. And I know he loved my mom more than anything.” He looked up at the blonde. “More than you did.” 

His smile fell, replaced by confusion and hurt. “What are you talking about?”

Heimdall stared at him. “I know what happened, Steve.” He said. “When Mom was pregnant with Ben.” He went on. “You cheated on her.”

Steve paled slightly, a bit speechless for a moment. 

Heimdall looked down at his juice. “I always looked up to you. I wish I had known sooner.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t have.” 

Steve shook his head. “No, Heimdall. I always wanted to be there for you, I’ve never stopped. Your mom and I didn’t work out, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love you or her or Ben.” Which was true. “There was a lot going on, and I didn’t deal with things the way that I should have. It took years for her to be okay with me, it didn’t happen overnight.”

Heimdall shook his head again. “That’s not love. I know that. I’m not some kid anymore who believes everything you say.” He snapped. “No matter what was going on, there was  _ no reason _ for you to do that to her. At all.” He shot him a look. 

Steve swallowed. “I know. It’s one of my biggest regrets.” He sighed. “And it’s not something that I can ever take back.” 

“No. It’s not. And while she’s okay with you, I’m not.” Heimdall stood. “I can't look at you the same after finding this out.”

“Heimdall...you’re my son. You know that.” Steve tried, heart hurting. He had never thought that he would find out. How did he find out?! “Since day one!”

“Stop lying, Steve! You think I don’t remember being left out for Ben!” Heimdall always kept it in, he knew not every kid would remember that young, but he did. “How you shoved me off?” 

Steve’s breath caught. “That was a bad week, Heimdall. That’s all.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Now I know you were just being selfish. Again. I know the truth and who you really are.” Heimdall was near tears by this point. “I have to go get ready for lunch.” He said as he heard the kids coming down the hall. 

Swallowing, he watched Heimdall go, his heart breaking. Who told him about him cheating? Was it Thor? You? Tony? He pushed it down for now as Jake was the first one into the room. “Morning, dad.”

“Hey, buddy.” He ruffled his dark hair. “Have fun last night?” He hoped to distract himself until he could talk to each of the adults. 

“Yeah! We played games.” He smiled. 

Talia whined as she walked in, leaning into Steve. She was  _ not  _ a morning person. Much like her father. “Too early.” She yawned.

He glanced at the clock, chuckling. “It’s almost nine.”

“Way too early.” She lifted her arms. “Can I sleep on your back?” She pouted. “Please?” 

He lifted her automatically. “Sure, princess.” He let her slide down so she was hanging on but laying on his shoulder. He smiled as she got comfy. “Who’s hungry?” He asked the kids.

“Me! Me!” Theo bounced. 

* * *

Heimdall had gone straight to his room, overwhelmed. His head hung as he let a few tears fall. Nothing he knew was the truth anymore. The only stable thing was that you loved him and had always loved him. Nothing else felt real, and that was scary. He didn’t know that it was raining outside until a large crack sounded with thunder. Sniffing, he groaned. It had been sunny minutes ago. So they would know this had to do with him. He was usually good at hiding it. 

“Your mother is asking if she can come in.” JARVIS told him. 

“Yeah, course.” Heimdall wiped his eyes, knowing you were too perceptive. And it would worry you more if he said no. A moment later, he heard his door open. “Hey, mom.”

“Hi.” You smiled gently. “Just checking in…” You went to sit next to him on the bed, rubbing his back. “Wanna talk about it?”

He leaned into you and shook his head slightly. “Just overwhelmed.” He sighed. He didn’t want to hurt you by bringing up his talk with Steve. He knew you had healed at least a bit and didn’t want to reopen the wound. “Thanks for always being there for me.” He told you. 

You hugged him, kissing the top of his head. “Of course. I love you.” 

He smiled softly and hugged your arm. The rain slowed to a drizzle outside. “I love you too. Where do you want to go to lunch?” He asked, wanting to make you happy.

“How about our favorite sushi bar?” You smiled. “The one that has the crunchy one.” You offered. “Then we can go to that science store you like?”

He nodded. “And we can stop to find you something nice too.” He pointed out. “You do deal with all the kids, and all the guys.”

You smiled. “You’re a sweetie.” You were so proud of who he was becoming. 

* * *

Bucky was clearing up the playroom when Steve walked in and he noted his look. “What happened? The kids okay?” He panicked. “Did one of the younger ones get hurt?!” 

Steve shook his head. “Did you tell Heimdall about Debbie?” He asked softly. 

Bucky blinked before it hit. “Debbie? I haven’t heard that name in ages. No. I haven’t talked about that to anyone.” He looked confused. “Where the hell did that even come from? He knows?” 

“Yeah, he does.” He sagged. “He’s pissed.” He shook his head. “I’m pretty sure that freak storm a bit ago was him.”

Bucky sagged also. “Shit.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Steve.” He put the toys down and walked over to pull him into his arms. Steve hug him tightly. “I’m sure it’ll pass.” 

“He remembers the week of their honeymoon, Buck.” He breathed. “He said he doesn’t believe that it wasn’t just a bad week anymore because of this.” He sniffed. “He’s not okay with me anymore, and says he ‘knows’ who I ‘really am’.” 

Bucky squeezed him, knowing deep down this would get back to Heimdall one day. “Thor knew about that week, too. I thought he was going to hit me. I would’ve took it.” He said honestly. 

Steve pulled back, confused. “Who told Thor?” He asked. “Because I find it odd that he knows when he wasn’t even here, and then Heimdall finds out about Debbie…” Was someone trying to break apart the tower family? 

Bucky shook his head, unsure. “He said he was happy that I was stepping up as a father figure to Heimdall but heard that it wasn’t always the case.” He sighed. “I was honest with him, and promised that I had made sure to do better.” 

Leaning his forehead against Bucky’s he let out a soft sigh. “He hates me, I felt it. I literally felt his hatred. And I can’t blame him.” He sniffed. “I lost him all over again.” He chokes out. “What if he tells Ben, too?!” He pulled back, looking at Bucky, terrified. 

Bucky was worried about that also. “Then we face it.” He cupped his cheek. “This was 14 years ago. That’s a long time.” He told him. “You’re a different person now. Right?” He reminded him, wanting him to realize it. 

He nodded. “He just sees me as the guy who hurt his mom. He still has Tony, and now Thor is back.” He sighed. 

Bucky rubbed his back. “I’ll talk to him, okay?” 

“I don’t want him hating you because you defend me.” Steve shook his head. 

“I’m not going to.” Bucky said softly. “I’m not going to defend your mess up but I’m going to tell him you’ve changed.” He ran his thumb over Steve’s cheek. “Even if you two have to start over, it’s better than losing everything.” 

Steve swallowed and nodded. “He has to know I’ve changed. I mean, I’ve never been unfaithful to you.” He pointed out. “Never even crosses my mind.”

Bucky gave a small smile. “It’s a relief to hear, pal.” He kissed him gently. “I love you.”

Steve clutched to him. “I love you too.” He was worried Heimdall would convince Bucky to leave him now. And it would terrify him for awhile.

“I’ll also check with Stark to see if he’s said anything.” Bucky nodded. “I can’t see him doing that, but who knows.”

“Then who else?” He sighed. 

“I dunno, Steve.” Bucky said softly. “I can’t see anyone here willingly doing this. Even Nat wouldn’t.” He sighed. “JARVIS, who did Heimdall talk to last night and this morning?” If anyone knew, it’d be the AI. 

“Thor, Tony, and myself.” He stated simply. “After he spoke with the Captain, he spoke with his mother.”

Bucky nodded. “Did Heimdall mention to you who told him about Steve?” He asked. 

“It was me, sir.” He told him. “He was watching old files, and inquired about why Mr. Stark was missing from so many. I explained the circumstances. He then asked if there was anything else that he did not know. I was not programmed, or told, not to inform him of anything.” He pointed out. “He then asked if young Benjamin knows.” 

Steve sucked in a breath. “Does he?” 

“No, sir." JARVIS told them. 

Bucky rubbed his face. “Well we know who to get mad at.” He muttered. “And we need to warn Tony.” He sighed. “If he’s this upset with you, he’s gonna be hurt about the whole Tony thing. JARVIS, what exactly did you tell him about that?” 

“I informed him that Mr. Stark did not want children. He panicked, and the two of them broke up until he was around 6 months old.”

Bucky groaned. “No wonder there was a storm.” His heart hurt for the young half God. “I can’t see this being a good day for him. Has he spoken with Tony yet?” 

“No, sir, he is locked in his room at the moment. He is awaiting word from Mrs. Stark that she is ready to leave.” 

“Should we warn Tony?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded. “I think we should.” 

“I don’t want Heimdall more mad at me.” Steve said warily. It was a hard spot to be put in the middle of. “No matter what we pick, it feels wrong.” He sagged. 

Bucky watched him worriedly. “Maybe we’ll just let it play out then.” He suggested. “Let’s just go take care of the kids.” He rubbed Steve’s arm.


End file.
